So there I am Tindering it up in Tokyo on a young Saturday night in hopes to find something to do. Not many people talk in this hostel, and I was growing quite bored with myself.
Can I say my swiping finger was on FIYYAAA!! More so on fire to swipe LEFT. And then Bam! ... ascending from the heavens... I was like DAAYYYYYMMMMMMMMM. Swipe RIGHT! MATCH! Mannn this dude was too fine! He was one of those Too fine that you know it's too good to be true fine. Too fine that I knew something wasn't right. Especially after reading his profile I knew something was off. Little did he know, I had nothing but time to entertain it.
Well once we matched I slid in the DMs right quick with a funny convo about his profile... and it worked because he responded back. BOOM we got action!
Based on his profile, I knew he was either hoeing or catfishing. Aint no way! And after talking to him, I knew it was more to it. Me asking for recommendations of places to go hang out led to him inviting me out to a gay bar, Dragon Men. He swore up and down he wasn't gay and he had to go. I was like, wait, are you working? You know... dancer or performer. He said no he just had to meet up with some people. Bruh... I never laughed so hard. I was like I know this negro ain't trappin' in Tokyo!
Wait... You met up with him?
What triggered me to go is when he invited me to a gay bar and said: "he not gay." Like dude. Keep it 100. I'm from Atlanta. Home of the gay team this ain't nothing new. After a few back and forth convos I said I'd meet him at the bar. He made it seem like work, so I knew he was either selling product or ass, but I for sure was finna find out. I mean come on... Based off these pics he had to be selling ass or something, and I wanted to witness. His text was too scripted. He told me he'd be in a red plaid shirt and glasses.
So... fast forward. I made it to the club and saw no one. Then this white boy walks up to me in a red plaid shirt. I'm like what the fuck! You could've at least been a black! The drunk white guy was shit faced and trying to buy me a drink. Unfortunately, his boyfriend came right in time to stop him. Ugh. Hater.
So I bought a drink and decided to step back for a bit and peep the scene. I felt like a scene from a movie as I sat back watching people be in their element. And then... what do you know, this light skin dude in a dingy red plaid shirt and orange bubble vest with glasses came strolling in.
I immediately knew it was him lmao.
I watched him look around and stare around the bar knowing he was looking for me. I was like this motherfucker. I'm just glad I didn't have expectations to meet Prince Charming, or I'd be pissed forreal forreal! An inkling just thought that maybe... just maybe God was looking out for an OG tryna put me back in the game. But reality hit and I became Nev from Catfish on a mission to find out who this guy really is.
Anyways. 5 min later.
Hi... I'm Wes.
I died laughing. I was like "are you sure wit yo lying ass." He had the nerve to look confused. I was like for one who doesn't look like his picture I'm surprised you even showed up. I was like "you didn't have to steal ALL the man's good pictures did you?" You know what his excuse was? People lie on tinder all the time. I was like "naw...you mean you lie on Tinder all the time." Lmao
This man was a full fledge fraud. The only thing accurate was his age because he definitely looked old. He was a recently divorced 38-year-old man from Cali whos been living in Tokyo for 17 years. He's a banker by day and moves weight at night (did I say that right? I don't know. I've been listening to Migos. *shrugs*). That's right! This fool was selling ecstasy pills in the gay bar which is why he said he had to be here.
Halfway through the convo, I was like this N***a (I said I was gonna stop using that word) crazy! He started talking about how he agrees with 45 and how he wants to come back to the USA to build an underground layer for black criminals to hook white people on heroin.
Yea. I was done after that.
ABORT MISSION
Making my exit strategy, I got him to take me to a straight bar. I figured it was the least he could do considering I didn't know my way around and didn't have any data. Unfortunately, the place he took me was empty. I got up to leave, and he started walking too. This fool had the nerve to grab a taxi asking if I'm coming. The look of confusion said enough because he left. I walked away with his friend to a Nigerian party and partied the night away. The end.
Hope you enjoyed story time!
P.S. I got pics of the profile, but he deleted me before I could screenshot the convo 😕. Sucks not having data.
Tokyo is something else, XOXO